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Alessandro Di Nunzio has gone all Riley Giles on us. And thank goodness for that.
The first of Lindsay Lohan's numerous conquests during a slutty passionate week in Italy during the Capri Film Festival, Di Nunzio opened up to News of the World about his meeting Ms. Firecrotch, her seduction of him and her supposedly perfect body.
"I spotted her in a bar with two friends and she beckoned me to come over," he said. "She introduced herself as Lindsay. It was only at the end of our conversation I suddenly clicked I was talking to Lindsay Lohan. I almost collapsed."
After the film festival somehow gave Lohan an award for her contributions to cinema, Di Nunzio said:
"I couldn't believe it when she asked if I could come to the dinner afterwards. I was proud to accompany her... then she invited me to a couple of clubs with her two friends. Despite her recent troubles she was downing alcohol: vodka cranberry and vodka soda."
Now a drunken mess, Lindsay made her move:
"All of a sudden, she pressed up close, looked me in the eyes and asked if she could kiss me. It was a strange role-reversal and it took me aback.
But I came to my senses and kissed her. We did nothing but kiss in the club after that. She didn't care who was watching."
The pair then went back to her hotel at 2:30 a.m...
Alessandro continued: "I never imagined in my wildest dreams we would end up in bed. We spent a long time talking, lying side by side on top of her bed."
But then the actress got up and stripped down.
Alessandro Di Nunzio was overwhelmed by the sight of Lindsay Lohan naked:
"She was wearing mismatched underwear: a black bra with emerald green French knickers. But they came off too. Naked, she took my breath away. Lindsay is stunning.
Her body is absolutely perfect. Flawless.
After boldly taking her clothes off she dived under the covers. I sensed she was insecure about her gorgeous body. I was shocked she had made the first move," Alessandro said, evidently oblivious to her previous exploits with Harry Morton, AJ Lamas, Jude Law, Stavros Niarchos and many others.
"To be honest I felt a bit intimidated. I was with Lindsay Lohan. But I took off my clothes and we started to make love. And then it was just like two ordinary people making love. It was very passionate and intense and lasted for one hour, maybe more," he went on.
"Lindsay was very, very good and surprisingly experienced. She wanted to do everything, every position. She was extremely flexible and adventurous."
The next morning, Alessandro got dressed and told Lindsay he "had things to do. She told me, '€˜Bye, I'll call you.'"
This didn't sit too well with Di Nunzio:
"I don't think I will see her again now that I have learned that she was seeing other guys at the same time as she was seeing me... But I'm going to watch all of her films, even though really I'd prefer to see her again in real life."